Pride and Prejudice: Taking It Slow

quote_slowDown_Jason_Fried

Hello Blogosphere! My name is Isaiah Frisbie and I am honored to be the writer for Pride and Prejudice. As a freshman myself, I came to Brown with a number of questions, many of which were answered within a matter of weeks while others remain open-ended. Perhaps one of the more enduring questions, one that may continue to be answered throughout the entirety of my Brown career, is how my own sexuality will affect my college experience. So, I have taken it upon myself to use this blog to contribute any kind of insight that I can about LGBTQ life at Brown and hopefully, in some way, help any student, prospective or otherwise, put some of those nagging worries to rest.

When it comes to dating, past experiences, though not always immediately, often become moments of clarity. In fact, it is when we reflect upon those experiences that we avoid some of the circumstances that may have complicated previous relationships. However, perhaps one of the worst things you can do is allow yourself to define the future by the success, or lack thereof, of those past experiences. Previous relationships or hardships are generally not reliable indications of the future.

Every opportunity, person, and relationship deserves a clean slate. They are not the person who broke your heart. They are not the person who left you with a lesson to learn rather than a happy ending. Sadly, over the last few months, I’ve learned that things will not always work out the way that you hope. Exams will prove cruel. Infatuations may not always be mutual. Relationships will not always last. Despite the fact that I’ve had to come to terms with these lessons on more than one occasion, I refuse to let these experiences convince me that my future is equally doomed to suffer the same misfortune.

You never know what’s just around the corner. You never know what person you’re about to meet. You may not always see that “A” until you get your exam back a week later. You don’t know what opportunities have opened up for you now that you’ve moved on from that thing you once desperately wanted.

When you are finally able to move on and muster up the resolve to see that new opportunity, here’s my advice: take it slow. Do not rush into anything. Give it time. Give it the time it deserves. Give that person the time they deserve. If it really is something great, it usually isn’t fleeting. I know all too well the consequences of jumping into something. The things that you want to last take time to establish. Everything stable needs a foundation. There’s nothing wrong with taking something slow. Instant gratification isn’t always looking out for your best interests. In fact, sometimes deciding not to kiss on the first date is the best action to take.

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions about what I should post next, please don’t hesitate to email me at isaiah_frisbie@brown.edu.

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