Pride and Prejudice: College, Relationships, and Ultimately, Yourself

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Hello Blogosphere! My name is Isaiah Frisbie and I am honored to be the writer for Pride and Prejudice. As a freshman myself, I came to Brown with a number of questions, many of which were answered within a matter of weeks while others remain open-ended. Perhaps one of the more enduring questions, one that may continue to be answered throughout the entirety of my Brown career, is how my own sexuality will affect my college experience. So, I have taken it upon myself to use this blog to contribute any kind of insight that I can about LGBTQ life at Brown and hopefully, in some way, help any student, prospective or otherwise, put some of those nagging worries to rest.

Early this morning, and by morning I mean struggling to wake up before noon, my friend and I went to the last meeting of an advising program we had both applied to during the summer prior to our arrival. Reflecting on our experiences this semester, we noted some of the things that had taken us by surprise in the past few months.

A variety of comments were made:

I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to keep my worries about assignments separate from other areas of my life. I find myself constantly worrying about my workload and there are moments when I find it inhibiting my ability to enjoy my time outside of the classroom.  

Though I appreciate how politically correct Brown is, I sometimes find that I’m “walking on eggshells” when I talk to certain people or about certain issues. 

During the discussion, I mentioned that I thought it was interesting to see how much I’ve changed in just a few short months. It was a change that I couldn’t necessarily identify or put a name to. However, I felt as though I was different. Maybe I felt more self-sufficient, a quality that would inevitably lead to at least some degree of change.

Now that I’m in college and have almost completed my first semester, I do feel as though I’ve changed. I wouldn’t say I’m the same person I was a few months ago. However, this new-found feeling has also made me aware of certain ways in which I haven’t changed and perhaps areas in which I still have much to learn.

Relationships are a commonality in college. They are going to happen just as they happen anywhere else and in any other setting. As someone who has entered into a relationship in college (Yes! I’m admitting it.), I have taken notice of how I act in such a scenario and I’ve realized something that, in all honesty, I’m disappointed about.

Although college is a prime opportunity to meet new people and potentially make life-long friends, it is also a time of self-discovery. It is a time to grow and mature. It’s a time to understand yourself and solidify your own identity. Ultimately, it ‘s a time to be yourself and nothing less. This is where I feel I still have much to learn in terms of being in a relationship.

The best piece of advice I can give to any individual entering into a relationship is to be yourself! It’s simple and cliched. It’s been said on countless occasions and, to some extent, has lost its flare. Still, it’s reigns true. Do not become someone else because you are with someone else. As someone slowly becoming integrated into the realm of adulthood, I have to embrace the fact that all I have to offer is the person that I am and I cannot suddenly compromise, intentionally or otherwise, that person in order to maintain a relationship.

The thing to avoid, something I have to learn to do as well, is doubting who you are or worrying about every one of your actions because you’re in a relationship. That person entered into a relationship with you because they liked the person they saw. So just continue to be that person.

I know it’s easier said than done…but just try.

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions about what I should post next, please don’t hesitate to email me at isaiah_frisbie@brown.edu.

   

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